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physically unfit.mentally challenged. average. links haiza. amirahlee. syuhadah. ashikin. farhana. feeee. eka. oyar. archives September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 March 2010 the shizz. credits layout designer and image: eloquent |
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date: Saturday, November 28, 2009
title: someone to blurt your heart out.
time: 6:16 PM
It's funny, how a small, meaningless, worthless, paranoid thought can revert you back to your old ways. I suck in this."Taking the final call of effort." date: Thursday, November 26, 2009
title: everything smells like karma.
time: 2:48 PM
 And you seemed to be troubled by big problems. I have 2 choices, go in and lend a helping hand, or sit back and give you space. Or is karma doing the last choice itself. date: Monday, November 23, 2009
title: four phrases means alot to them.
time: 8:00 PM
A day where your mother tongue got twisted into chinese itself made the 40 bucks worthwhile. Why? You get satisfying nods and smiles which shows appreciation and thank you for the effort somone did in a save-the- earth event which was infested with old uncles and aunties. (Ah pro, direct translation.) "Man man lai." = Slowly slowly. "Auntie/Uncle, ni yao colour mah?" = Auntie/Uncle, you want to colour? "Auntie/Uncle, kong xi kong xi." = Auntie/Uncle, congrats congrats. "Auntie/Uncle, ni qer yi mah?" = Auntie/Uncle, you can or not? date: Friday, November 20, 2009
title: it was, and will stay that way.
time: 8:57 PM
The quote you once gave me made me realize. Once you became part of it, everything became a whole new mystery. date: Tuesday, November 17, 2009
title: then let it be.
time: 8:05 PM
Everything seems quiet nowadays. No talk, no action. Realized you needed someone when you're bored eh? Hah, you seem to be snipping off every single path of connection there is. Well, good luck. Thanks for being temporary; as predicted. date: Sunday, November 15, 2009
title: -
time: 10:37 PM
Two types of regret; Regretting what you've done and what you didn't do. date: Saturday, November 14, 2009
title: a dear friend, it.
time: 5:13 PM
Lingering in the depths of its own room, while facing a screen filled with colours with tabs attached that have different alphabets all over them. It sighed. It wanted to speak out, but afraid of losing another close tie, it won't. It tried by asking, but efforts seems rather useless. It seems to be losing everything, and everything literally.It said; "Contended with what you have, not regretting what you've lost." It is bullshit. date: Thursday, November 12, 2009
title: conversations.
time: 12:28 PM
People have different styles of conversations, which might be weird but meaningful in a sense.Father decided to go down since mum had problems walking. It was rather quiet when we walked. But dad decided to open some topics about friends and stuff. Then it went quiet. Being a filial son (not), I took the turn to open a topic. But I realized, only after yesterday, father only gets into a conversation which interests him. Games, attitude of people, childish quarrels doesn't "turn him on". Studies, anything related to the world, or anything related to him, he's into it. Ahaha, as lame as I could get, I decided to talk about cigarette. Father was an ex-smoker. So I asked doesn't he feel tempted to smoke again each time he goes to a shop. "Nah. I don't find it tempting. Ah you ah got smoke right? (oh oh) I find it rather stupid. 11 bucks for a box. I've smoked for twenty years, one week three packs. You count." I replied, "Ah, can buy car already ah." Father laughed. Ah he continued to tell his "Box Of Cigarette Jokes". "What does CAMEL stands for? Ciuman aku membuat engkau lemah. (My kiss makes you weak)" .____________________________. "PALL MALL? Pegang aku lamer lamer, main aku lamer lamer (Hold me for long, play with me for long)" Sick, but makes sense. Even though, it was a dry topic, yeah at least there was something meaningful. My slut came back home at around 1 am? Hahah, total sluttish attitude. So yeah, feeling fucked up I had to wait till he reached home. Decided to eat when suddenly, he tossed a paperbag with something inside. Pastry from Starbucks. No communication, just like that it was a token of appreciation for me. Ah, deep inside, my slut cares for me. But I don't. Not. Moral of the story; You don't need any shit to start a conversation. You don't need chicks (optional), cigarettes, money and any other shit. What you need is just 2 people with nothing and a simple gesture to let it roll. .jpg) Father, Cunt, Slut."Paper bags and angry voices Under a sky of dust Another wave of tension Has more than filled me up All my talk of taking action These words were never true" date: Monday, November 9, 2009
title: shy, even towards an 8 year old kid.
time: 4:54 PM
Sorry, girl who had troubles paying the bus fare due to a-lot of stuff you were carrying. You were like, troubled from what I saw. When you ran out of the bus crying, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to ask, but it seems that there were people looking and I was paranoid that people would think I was a Pedophile or a molester or maybe even a kidnapper. So if you could see, I waited for you at the bus-stop until someone came to help you. All the drama of using my phone, talking to someone was just fake, so I could see you through your shit. You should thank that auntie, for really having a kind heart and going all the trouble to help you.Sorry 8-year old white girl, I was being a wussy; as usual. date: Sunday, November 8, 2009
title: holy. NOT.
time: 3:42 AM
That was a first for me. Seriously, everything feels weird now. That feeling, gushed inside like as if it was potassium reacting immediately to oxygen. Everything was supposed to be set aside. Everything was supposed to be, "over". Just by contact, it came back. It's 4.03a.m, and I can't sleep. Many things running on my mind, and I all can think of is of what happened. Screw this.And this goes out to the two-'tudong' wearing sluts I met. Please, for god's sake, take off those scarfs, you're a total disgrace. Swap em' for some cheap $5 tubes and micro-skirts where you can find lying around rubbish bins or your mum's closet. Oh by the way, you can get your personalities changed for free, yes I mean FREE at the closest mirror near you. (Warning, person reflected might not be you, might be facing with a slut. Don't worry, that's you.) For any inquiries, gladly call your parents to teach you some basic level of knowledge if you wanna wear that "tudong". You wanna talk about people about eating alot. What's wrong with eating rice, with 2 vege' and a meat serving? Just like that, you call that alot? "Wah, eat so much ah?" Ah, fuck you. You two sluts are just plain lucky, that I didn't reply anything. I'm an average guy, but I know my basic level of respect ah fuck. Want to shoot, face me. Gutless cunts. Just because I look big you guys think you have an advantage to say that. Ah another fuck you. I'm seriously looking forward to meeting you. Sorry for all the "keyboard-warrior" talk. Holy, I sound like that person. Damn, I hope that person sees this too. "Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." date: Thursday, November 5, 2009
title: you're too good.
time: 7:09 PM
It's basic instinct that we try to help our friend/s when they're in any kind of trouble, problem, dilemma, or in any situation that makes them feel uneasy. We as a friend, tend to have the urge to help them by asking them what's going on and stuff.Calming their nerves down, pushing their thoughts away and putting a smile on their faces, virtually or physically gives you a tingling satisfaction that you've succeeded, even for a few seconds. Knowing you've accomplished, makes you happy too. But what if, you kind of, "failed"? That feeling sucked. I've tasted it. The feeling of you being so useless in this situation arises, making you feel dumb and where did you go wrong. You will feel so useless that you won't want to do anything, but ponder why and how come you "failed". Was it your fault? You might be thinking, "Why the fuck do you even think to the extend Khairul? You're thinking too much." I can't explain. You just got to experience it yourself. I realized, it's not every time you got to cheer someone up. It's not every time, you got to poke in someone's life just to make them happy. Sometimes, people need time alone or they're waiting for someone else instead to be there for them. I'm getting the hang of this. "This is the last time I'll take the blame for the sake of trying to be with you" date: Tuesday, November 3, 2009
title: your day, punk.
time: 9:43 PM
 To the guy who has meaning behind his uttered words; Happy 18th birthday. Glen Loh. |